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Sexual Abusers and Abusive Sexuality (11)

December 19, 2017

Dream 12-18-17  A Wife of Two Brothers

The three of us in this dream are thirty-something. My wife and I have been married for ten or so years. We are having a normal, semi-serious, unexciting, slightly mediocre, utilitarian conversation. My brother is there. I go into another room, and from there I hear music coming from the kitchen and then I hear my wife and brother are dancing together, in a light, easy, two-step. My wife is laughing without thinking, having fun. My brother says something light-hearted and playful. I realize that they love each other and enjoy being together. It is not exactly that they are in love, but that they could be. It would be good.

I come return to the kitchen and ask my wife to dance with me. We dance rather stiffly. I say, “This isn’t working well.” My brother leaves for his house, and I go into my study. I think, “My wife is not happy. But she would be, with my brother. I’ll see if I can make that happen.”

I go to my brother’s house, and say to him, “Just thinking about things, the way the future brings things. If for instance, I were in an accident and I didn’t survive. If my wife was interested, would you be interested in marrying her?” He says, “Well, yes, in that case,” he would.

During the following week or so I research life in Australia, and companies with which I might be able to get a job. I’m thinking Perth, because a friend enjoyed a six-month stint there. I send queries, explaining that I would like to live in Australia, so I have decided to move there and look for a job. I’ll contact you again when I have moved, in case you have a position for which you would consider me. I receive encouraging responses.

In the kitchen with my wife, I say to her, “Just thinking about things, the way the future brings things. If for instance, I were in an accident and I didn’t survive. If my brother was interested, would you be interested in marrying him? I believe that you love each other.” She says, “Well, yes, in that case, I would consider it.”

A few weeks later I have moved to Australia.

*     *     *

Well, “you must change your life.” Typing this dream brings tears to my eyes, of loss and gain.

I see intuitive points for interpretation, and everyone is welcome. But I’m not going to try to interpret it. As Hillman said, sometimes it’s best to just live with the dream, live in the image, let the image live with you. That’s what counts. Living in soul.

I think this dream is relevant to this plot line at this moment, because I am reading Jill Filipovic’s new book, The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness, which I highly recommend. I’ve just finished the chapter on the complexities of motherhood and happiness for women. Very powerful. JF’s thesis is right on, I believe, about a happiness-centered philosophy and politics of liberation. It’s a major point, it seems to me, in re-imagining, on our way to a person-centered and soul-centered way of life. When I have finished the book, I’ll insert a page about it into the narration. (Here’s a critique, placing the book in a context of utopian and dystopian narratives by women beginning in 1666, that I think is very informative, altho I’m not seeing this book as utopian.)

[Ha. While typing I was listening to Aaroj Aftab’s spiritual music, Bird Under Water.  It ended as I was (I thought) finishing this page; then just as I typed the last word, my playlist moved to Al Green, “Let’s Stay Together.” Dream on. Well, life is change, change is life. In that case, I would consider it.

And there’s this.

And while we’re dreaming, there’s this out of Muncie IN.]

[Pages (1) and (10) of this episode.  Index to “Dreams.”]

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