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Breaking: Opinion of Trompf Pres

September 23, 2017

A new Hahvuhd University/Equinauxious Exit Poll in WI, MI, and PA shows that opinions have changed only marginally since November 8, 2016. Pollsters who appeared to respondents to be Mexicans confronted 1,369 voters coming out of a Wallmart with the question, “Could a jackass do president better than Donald J. Trompf?” Results:

41% picked Yep / 20 No. Go away. / 13 Lock her up. / 6 I don’t know or No opinion. / 2 I forget. / 8 I couldn’t find the SockoNuts. Did you see the SockoNuts? / 2 Why do you ask? / 3 What’s a “jackass”? / 1 All of the above.

(Voters were assured that points would not be deducted for wrong answers. Numbers might not add up because some voters merely stared.)

When the same question was presented to 1,369 jackasses:

60% picked Lock him up / 40 Are you kidding me?

But when the question was presented to 1,369 4th graders, 100% correctly identified a jackass and picked Oh hell yes.

[Readers who didn’t like this page also did not like “Donald and the Junkyard Dogs.”]

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