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Trump Is an Abuser

September 27, 2016

“I may hit her harder in certain ways. I really eased up because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings,” (BBC coverage, & Fox—“she hit me with the women”).

Probably this is what I find the most despicable (beyond “deplorable”), and pathetic, about Donald Trump. He imagines his way in life as a pattern of physical, and emotional, abuse. I don’t know whether he acts out physically in his private life; but in public he is verbally abusive, especially against women, saying things that cause emotional damage, and that threaten physical damage.

He is like a child who has experienced so much abuse against himself, and/or between adult members of his family, that when he feels threatened, or he doesn’t get what he wants, he raises a fist and screams insults. It’s his default fantasy reaction. Every moment’s obstacle looms so large that it is the biggest ever, but his potential for violence is even bigger. You haven’t seen anything like it.

He is like an adult who experienced so much shame and being shamed, as a child, that his first move in self-defense is to eliminate the person who, he feels, threatens or inhibits him, with punishing shame (I’ve addressed this annihilating aspect of shame on other pages, and will do so again).

I believe that as leader of our nation, and to a significant degree of the world, he would act that out on a grand stage.

If you’ve watched him, even for the past few months, I don’t need to summon up a lot of examples to illustrate his long history of abusing people. But I’m thinking about it on this day after his first debate with Hillary especially because of his remarks on stage and again this morning on television.

In the Fox interview linked above, he again defends his own abusive behavior by blaming his victim, the “girl” whom he fat-shamed when she was a young woman. Every woman knows this fundamental tactic in male abuse, and there are few women in our society who do not feel the attack, each time.

The beauty, gentleness, and vulnerability of soul is not separable from that of body—body and soul are inalienable, and love loves both. That’s why every body is beautiful, to eyes that see and hearts that feel.

Every woman knows that. Hillary knows it quite well, and here is her ad that features that abused Miss Universe, Alicia Machado, then and now.

[Update 9/28:  Great article, on T’s verbal abuse tactics during the debate.]

  1. Trump says he does not know Machado.

    • Wow. I think we have to think of him now as a person who is deeply in trouble (while protecting ourselves from the trouble that he can cause us). I’m beginning to worry that he’ll have some kind of breakdown. There’s going to be a lot of pressure on him between now and 11/8.

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